Napoles asks Supreme Court to “wrestle for my freedom”

File:Janet Lim-Napoles mugshot.jpg

“No, I do not think this is an odd request,” said Napoles head of counsel. “This was how it was done in the ‘Gladiator’ movie. We are just asking the supreme court to afford Mrs. Napoles the same privelege.”

Janet Napoles is linked with the alleged misuse of the Priority Development Assistance Fund, or PDAF, together with Senators Bong Revilla, Jinggoy Estrada, and Juan Ponce Enrile. Other government officials, including several prominent congressmen, are also implicated in the scam.

In the aforementioned Gladiator film, Russel Crowe plays fictional character General Maximus Meridius (Janet Napoles) who is betrayed by Commodus (Benhur Luy), played by Joaquin Phoenix, and is sold to slavery. Maximum (Napoles) rises through the ranks of the gladiatorial arena to avenge the murder of his family (senators) and his emperor (Enrile), and ultimately wins his freedom (ulol).

“There is definitely some historical and legal precedence for this. All through out history, people have literally “fought” for their freedom, on the streets and in the courtrooms. I do not see why this should not be allowed in our present day. I am sure that the Filipino people are more progressive thinking and liberal minded, and will be open to this idea.”, said Atty. Seenu Nga-Lin in a press conference at the law offices of Go, Goh and Glow.

When asked by Agila News who Mrs Napoles is ready to wrestle against, Atty. Seenu replied, “Anyone!”

Seenu continued, “For example, give me a name of a well-known wrestler. Any wrestler or fighter you can think of”

“I don’t know. Maybe CM Punk, or John Cena, or Bati-”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE! BECAUSE JANET “THE SNAKE” NAPOLES IS RUNNING WILD ON YOU!”, Seenu shouted at reporters while making circling motions with his hands, and then pointing towards the sky.

“… AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE, BECAUSE WE FILED AN INJUCTION YESTERDAY!”, Atty. Nga-Lin then flipped over the podium and ran inside the office.

The Supreme Court has yet to make a ruling on this petition.


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