Parañaque resident Donald ‘Don-Don’ Vasquez told reporters that he still “looks cool, amazing, bodacious and totally radical”, driving his red-colored 1997 Honda Civic Hatchback.
“This car is just the best,” remarked Vasquez while showing off his vehicle at his home last Sunday. “You know it’s cool because it has a spoiler.” Vasquez recalls how he wanted to have his car lowered, but could not initially afford it. “Thank God I was able to take my college tuition fee and use it to pay for the upgrade. My parents were super-pissed, but it was totally worth it when I won 6th place in an SM car show. There was no cash prize, but I did get a years supply of Glade air fresheners.”
The College of Saint Benilde drop-out further bragged that his cars strobe lights, ‘are awesome’. “They are definitely not, according to my dad, a ‘fucking waste of money’,” Vasquez added.
“When I cruise around the village blasting my Ja Rule sounds, people notice. Girls notice!” remarked Vasquez. “C’mon man, how can any woman resist a car with 6-disk CD changer? Or even the Marvin The Martian stuffed toy stuck in the rear window?”
Sources say that Vasquez is currently running a Zagu franchise that is not doing so well. He claims that this is because people are “gay for Milk Teas.” Vasquez is not as concerned with the business since he is really optimistic that his Eraserhead cover band, the “Buendia Boys”, will take off pretty soon. They are reportedly doing shows at Padi’s Point once every three to four months.