In the interest of being accurate, some Philippine officials are pushing to change the Philippines tourism slogan from “It’s More Fun in the Philippines” to “It’s More Fun in the Philippines … unless your gay and want to get married“.
“We want to make sure that there is no confusion.”, says a local congressman, who is part of the group of officials who want the change in the slogan. “Everyone is allowed to have fun, except if you are gay. They are not allowed to have fun. Or get married.”
The official continued, “If anything, they should be thanking us. Marriage is not a big deal. Sure, it just let’s couples make a lifelong commitment to love and take care of each other. And they can also provide medical and life insurance to their spouse in case of emergencies. And there are also tax benefits for legally married couples. But I’m sure these are not important to the gays.”
“We have to always keep in mind that we are a deeply religious and conservative country. Sure, our most popular TV shows and films are about married couples having affairs. And our most popular celebrities and politicians have children outside of wedlock. And allowing gay people to get married doesn’t affect traditional marriages at all. But, hey, uhmm, the Bible. Right?”
“I mean, sure, supporting gay marriage could guarantee me votes from a growing and vocal voting community. Plus lots of positive press. And it would be the decent and right thing to do. But, uhmm. Uhmm. Why is this illegal again? Because of backwards thinking, religious fundamentalist dickheads like me? Yeah, that sound about right.”