NAIA security finds Ballistic Missile in APEC Official’s purse


In what can only be described as the most amazing thing that has ever happened at an airport, NAIA officials claim to have caught an unnamed female APEC official trying to smuggle in an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) in her purse.

Both the bag AND missile were identified as being the summer line of Hermes
Both the bag AND missile were identified as coming from the summer line of Hermes

“We couldn’t believe our eyes when we saw it.” said Officer Josefa Lacundin, who manned the x-ray machine. “We were obviously planning on planting bullets in her luggage to extort her for the entire GDP of whatever country she came from, so this was quite a shock for everyone in our corrupt staff.”

“We aren’t used to seeing anything out of the ordinary. ” Officer Lacundin tells Agila News. “You see, we are all in this to make money, and have no interest whatsoever in securing the airports for our fellow countrymen. Since this is our first time EVER neutralizing a threat, a lot of us are scrambling to figure out what the next legal step is. ”

Josefa further said that, “We would have liked to put her in our temporary holding cells, but it’s currently full of innocent Filipinos. It’s really quite a problem for us here.”

The female APEC official is refusing to comment on the situation. But sources close to the official claim that this was a lucky charm given to her by Saddam Hussein.

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