Senate To Investigate Shortage of Tempura and Sashimi


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Bam vs Food  (senate.gov/Getty)

A problem that’s been lingering for years now is about to taken into the spotlight in the senate. On Monday morning, Sen. Bam Aquino pushed forward a request for a senate inquiry on the apparent and deliberate  shortage of delicious tempura and sashimi on almost all major buffets.

“This is hard to explain,” Bam Aquino told the press, “I go to the nearest SM Hypermarket and there’s lots of shrimp and fish-looking things. Why is it that every time I go to the serving table in Vikings, Dads, and Buffet 101, I can’t seem to find any? Who’s hoarding all the supply?”

Shrimp Tempura and Salmon Sashimi have always been staple choices of Filipinos going to buffets so they can convince themselves that they’re getting their money’s worth. With a shortage looming, thousands of gluttons are worrying they may go home with their stomachs bursting, but with the thought that they still did not get the full worth of their 800-peso meal.

For Tet Delos Reyes, a professional Buffet analyst from Jonas Culinary Center for Excellence and Manpower (TESDA Accredited), this is a looming economic disaster in the making. “We’re looking at dissatisfied customers who might not return to the buffet tables for a long time – maybe even longer than 2 weeks.  Since half of our malls are already buffet restaurants, and malls make up half of our national economy, we’re looking at a recession worse than that time Jollibee started serving half-rice for the price of a whole one.”

And that is exactly what Bam Aquino is looking to avoid. “We’ll see what kind of measures we can put in place to ensure there’s enough Tempura for everybody. We need to find and punish those who are hoarding the supplies. And we can look at subsidizing tempura and sashimi farms and factories, or however those delicious things are made.”

The senate inquiry is scheduled for next month.

“I’m looking forward to eating some sample tempura and sashimi during the session,” Bam added, “it’s in aid of legislation of course.”

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2 thoughts on “Senate To Investigate Shortage of Tempura and Sashimi”

  1. Tempura kung sa mga Japan, “Ukoy” naman kung sa Pilipino. Sashimi kung sa Japan, “Kilawin” naman kung sa Pilipino. Kung Pilipino ka at nasa Pilipinas, magreklamo ka kung wala ka ng “Ukoy” at “Kilawin”. Kung yung Tempura at Sashimi at problema mo, P*tang in*! May mga Pilipinong ni minsan ay hindi pa nakilala iyang pinoproblema mo!

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  2. Sen. Bam Aquino, really? Sashimi and Tempura? there’s a lot of problem that this country needs to be investigated but Sashimi and Tempura? for real?

    Like

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