Scientists conclude that February 29, 2016 will happen only once in our lifetime

Team of scientists around the world have recently finished a 25 year study that found incontrovertible evidence that February 29, 2016 will happen only once in the entire lifetime of the universe.


“This is probably the biggest single discovery of science. “, says Professor Martin Stein of Hudson University. “This finding ranks up with the Higgs Boson, Gravitational Waves, and figuring out the cheese sticks go best with a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise.”

Although worldwide collaboration took place, the research mostly took place at the Large Huge Calendar (LHC) facility in Switzerland. About a trillion bazillion dollars went in to creating the calendar, according to industry insiders. Most of the funding went into adding paintings of The Last Supper on top of the calendar.

What does this finding really mean to most non-academic people? Simple: Each day is special, and you should never take for granted time spent with loved ones, and live life to the fullest because you never know when it will end. But, more importantly, it means you should never, ever, EVER say that gay people are lower than animals, because just like February 29, 2016, Nike endorsements only happen once in a lifetime.


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